I like to scan eBay from time to time for old comics, and it's always intriguing to see what some people consider appropriate advertising copy. I mean, you put something on eBay, you're trying to sell it, right? And yet there are any number of sellers who fill their ads with bellicose boiler plate seemingly designed to ward off virtually ALL potential bidders. Below is some of the copy from an eBay ad for a copy of CAPTAIN AMERICA COMICS #61, which, in excellent condition, would go for four figures. Evidently the seller is cranky because the book he's offering is missing a page (!) and he doesn't understand why that prompts questions from potential bidders:
NOW LET ME TELL YOU BIDDERS SOMETHING ONCE THE HIGH BID HITS THE AMOUNT THAT I WISH TO HAVE FOR THIS BOOK I AM GOING TO END THE AUCTION AND AWARD IT TO THE HIGH BIDDER , AND THE EVENT THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN IT WILL GET THROWN IN TO THE COAL FURNACE, I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE KRAP OVER THIS ANCIENT COMIC BOOK, THANK YOU
I only wish I could copy the 48pt red type...
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